When you're told your art isn't good enough

A story about self belief

The small office that belonged to my art tutor at college was claustrophobic and felt more like a cupboard, crammed with folders, books about art, and an out of control monstera plant squeezed onto the window ledge. There was just enough room for two chairs by the small desk and we sat there together as she went through her notes for my mid year tutorial.

My art tutor had a critical eye, under a head of unruly, short curly hair that was going grey. Laying down her pen, she cast this eye over me now. I was eighteen years old and I was studying A levels. Art was my favourite subject, and I’d been brought up by a creative family who had always encouraged me.

“What do you want to do when you leave college?” She asked.

“I’d like to go to university and study art - I want to be an artist.” I replied, somewhat shyly. Speaking this dream out loud was uncomfortable, as if I were exposing a secret part of myself.

The art tutor looked me over for a moment with a laconic expression, shuffled some papers and turned away slightly as she said. “I’m not sure that’s the right path for you, I don’t think you’ll make it as an artist.”

She advised me to go to the careers library and to consider some other options, and I left the suffocating room feeling numb, my world turned upside down. I’d thought I was good, that I could be an artist and perhaps make a living doing what I loved. But this person - my art tutor - had told me otherwise.

My confidence in myself and my abilities was torn to pieces and aside from the art classes at college, I stopped making art. My enthusiasm and self belief had been extinguished, and in class I did the bare minimum. I had no idea what I wanted to do next. I scraped through that A level with a grade D, and truthfully, I wasn’t really surprised.

Not at any point back then did I consider challenging, or dismissing, what she had said to me and going for it anyway. It was the early 90’s, and teachers, like policemen and other authority figures, had clout. You looked up to them, respected them and believed what they said - at least, we did. So I didn’t go to university straight from college as I’d planned, I took a job in an office instead.

Over the years I have met countless creative people who have told me similar stories, people who’ve had the wind knocked out of their sails by something somebody said, and given up or taken a different path in life because of it.

My tutor’s opinion certainly changed the direction of my life for a while. Opinions are just personal thoughts about things, and sometimes opinions are given by a person who is fearful, and wants to protect you from the pain of failure. However, this is based on their experience of life, not yours. Some people don’t have the ability to see beyond what they’ve achieved for themselves, and therefore cannot visualise what might be possible for someone else.

Art, by nature, is a personal expression, an emotive subject, and the stories and meaning within the art will touch different people in different ways. Looking back I can see that my artwork wasn’t inherently bad. Perhaps it just didn’t connect with my art tutor on an emotional level, or maybe she couldn’t see the potential for what might be, if I continued to study and explore this field.

After leaving college, and taking a rather long detour which included working for several years before finally going to university, I started my own business in 2006 working as an artist, and have continued to do so ever since.

With the encouragement of my university tutors, my confidence grew again. Of course over the years there have been occasional stumbling blocks and challenges that made me wonder if this life as an artist really was for me, but somewhere inside a voice kept urging me to create. And I had to, there’s an invisible pull to some universal source that means it’s impossible not to.

Making art is visceral, and to be an artist, we must learn to embrace the inevitable vulnerability that comes with sharing our work with others and opening ourselves up to their point of view. We must allow ourselves to be authentic, to let our own style flourish, to take small steps each day and follow the path that feels right for us.

We need to find ways to cope with criticism and negative opinions. It can really sting to be told you’re not good enough, but we can ask ourselves if that feels true for us, rather than just accepting it as fact.

With that said, constructive criticism can be a useful thing, if imparted by someone who is willing to nurture you, and show you how to develop your skills with care and kindness. Growth and direction is always good, and I believe we must always allow ourselves space to evolve and learn new things.

There will be people who like what you do, and people who don’t and if we want to follow a creative path, whether for fun or to make a living, we must do it with courage and conviction and show up regardless.

Until next time.